Well…this pay-per-view has had a pretty shitty build, hasn’t it? I mean, yeah we get to see Braun and Roman beat the piss out of each other again, and Styles vs Joe should be another show-stealing match, but my God has this been a boring month.
While Joe/AJ and Becky/Charlotte have had the only build really WORTHY of a Hell in a Cell match on the Smackdown side, we instead get Orton/Hardy in the all-red structure (gross) just to see Hardy kill himself one more time.
Seriously, the WWE Championship and Smackdown Women’s Championship matches are probably the only stories that have been consistently interesting since SummerSlam. The WWE ruined Roman/Braun by having Braun turn heel, essentially sealing the fate of his cash-in tonight. Ambrose and Rollins vs McIntyre and Ziggler? Sure, I guess?
Daniel Bryan vs the Miz Pt II will be hindered by the inclusion of Brie Bella and Maryse tonight, pretty much making it something that none of us are looking forward to. And in a PPV that won’t feature the Intercontinental or United States Championships being defended, the mid-card seems to have been completely abandoned this time around.
Oh well, maybe we’ll have a happy Rusev Day tonight? I’m Mongo, your REIGNING, DEFENDING UNDISPUTED UTR PREDICTIONS CHAMPION, and these are our predictions for WWE Hell in a Cell 2018.
Daniel Bryan & Brie Bella vs The Miz & Maryse
Des- Miz & Maryse
Kenny- Miz & Maryse
Matt- Miz & Maryse
Mike- Miz & Maryse
Mongo- Miz & Maryse
If you’ve been following us for a while, you know the golden rule of predictions…never go against Desiree McMahon Moodie when it comes to tag team matches. Hell, I’m 100% sure that Daniel Bryan & Brie Bella leave tonight with a W…but no way in Hell am I going against Des here.
What sucks about this match is that this is another one that could have ended up in Hell in a Cell. The storied 8-year rivalry between DB and The Miz is historic. It’s one of the greatest feuds in the history of professional wrestling. Instead, we’re relegated to this double date match that won’t really amount to anything.
Hell in a Cell: Jeff Hardy vs Randy Orton
Des- Jeff Hardy
Kenny- Randy Orton
Matt- Randy Orton
Mike- Randy Orton
Mongo- Randy Orton
Jeff is gonna die tonight. That’s it. The ONLY reason this is a HIAC match is that Jeff wanted one in his career before he called it quits. If you followed his career in TNA, he wasn’t against the idea of falling off cages, and tonight won’t be any different.
Expect to see Randy Orton capitalize on a failed Swanton Bomb to pick up the win, and probably stick his dick fingers in Jeff’s ears at some point, too.
Raw Tag Team Championship: The Shield vs The Show (c)
Des- The Shield
Kenny- The Show
Matt- The Shield
Mike- The Shield
Mongo- The Shield
*Shield theme plays*
Kenny’s…dumb…for going…against Des.
Kenny’s…dumb…for going…against The Shield.
Seriously, though, this could go either way. With Ziggler and McIntyre picking up a ton of momentum since they came together, it wouldn’t be surprising to see them steal a victory from Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins. However, you’d have to assume that the temptation to give The Shield…the WWE literally stated as the greatest Stable of All Time…will be too much to resist here.
Smackdown Live Tag Team Championship: Rusev Day vs New Day (c)
Des- New Day
Kenny- New Day
Matt- New Day
Mike- New Day
Mongo- New Day
It’s a glorious Rusev Day today. Too bad that it also falls on a New Day, yes it does.
The New Day just began their 5th title reign, and it’s probably not ending anytime soon. However, none of us will be upset if our boys manage to pick up some gold tonight.
Raw Women’s Championship: Alexa Bliss vs Ronda Rousey (c)
Des- Ronda Rousey
Kenny- Ronda Rousey
Matt- Ronda Rousey
Mike- Ronda Rousey
Mongo- Ronda Rousey
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK THIS MATCH!
FUCK THIS MATCH! FUCK THIS ANGLE! FUCK EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS!
Smackdown Live Women’s Championship: Becky Lynch vs Charlotte Flair (c)
Now, THIS is a women’s match we can get behind. What a turn around we’ve seen from Becky Lynch. While she’s easily top three in regards to wrestling talent on the women’s roster, her character was getting a bit stale, and a perfectly placed heel turn has reignited her career, lighting a fire under the Lass Kicker.
Love or hate how they did it, the WWE made people care about Becky Lynch more than they have in a long time. Can Becky defeat The Queen tonight?
WWE Championship: Samoa Joe vs AJ Styles (c)
Des- AJ Styles
Kenny- AJ Styles
Matt- AJ Style
Mike- AJ Styles
Mongo- AJ Styles
How was this not in Hell in a Cell? Joe has been going after AJ’s family. Joe said he’s trying to be the new daddy! This is some personal shit, yet this is just another one-on-one match.
You really missed the ball here, WWE. This’ll be a great match, but it should be inside that gross toy looking cell y’all have tonight.
Universal Championship Hell in a Cell: Braun Strowman vs Roman Reigns (c)
Des- Roman Reigns
Kenny- Roman Reigns
Matt- Roman Reigns
Mike- Roman Reigns
Mongo- Roman Reigns
Any time Roman and Braun face off, it’s an instant classic. How many fantastic gifs have we received from these two? How many different ways have we seen Braun absolutely demolish Roman? How many times have we seen Roman beat himself trying to overcome the odds against the Monster Among Men?
This should be a great Hoss Fight, remembered for years to come. However, the storyline it’s wrapped around has kind of taken away from the next chapter in this fantastic rivalry. Braun will be the second man in a row to lose his cash in opportunity. Bad form, WWE. Bad form all around.
Bonus – How is Foley knocked out of the match? Be specific as to who takes Foley out
Des- Roman spear
Kenny- Braun throws Roman into Foley
Matt- Roman Superman Punch
Mike- Braun powerslam
Mongo- Braun pushes/shoves Foley
While it’s more than likely Foley won’t be taking any bumps tonight, you’d have to assume that there’s a reason he’s involved tonight. I’m assuming Braun will gently shove Foley, taking him out for about ten-15 minutes.
Tiebreaker: How many spears?